What is a Witch?
Witches are people who work in league with the devil to cast spells that harm others. The bible says "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" so killing witches is a totally acceptable practice*.
...Except if they are hot. Some witches are very sexy and dance naked on hillsides at midnight. Why they do this is anybody's guess, but who are we to tell them to stop it?
Most witches are evil old women, who live in cottages and have black cats. Shakespeare had three witches in his play Macbeth (1604). They cast a spell using eye of newt and tongue of dog as ingredients.
Witches have appaling green skin, which is probably because they spent so much time standing around over bubbling cauldrons full of offal. They also fly on broomsticks which is going to dry out the pores still further. If you are thinking of becoming a witch, use a decent mosturiser and invest in a gas mask.
Witches wear black which is a forgiving colour. Many witches can let themselves go quite a bit, but because of all the black clothing nobody notices a few extra pounds.
Witches cackle quite a bit, which is pretty hard on the throat. Modern witches just play recordings of cackling on their i-pods, which is much less effort.
*traditionally the best way of killing witches was burning at the stake. This was immensely popular in the middle ages before the rules of football had been fully worked out. As soon as people learned the offside rule, they stopped burning witches!