Valentines Day

Finding the perfect Valentines Day gift

Rule number one is Don't Be Cheap.

Dont panic! This doesn't mean you need to buy Emeralds, Rubies and Diamonds for her; it simply means do not hunt for a bargain. If she ever gets wind of the fact they were selling her Valentines Day Gift at 50% off in Wal-mart, you will suffer long and hard for it.

It doesn't matter if you buy something that only cost a dollar if that is all you have to spare. She really won't care.

However, if you buy something that should cost five dollars for a special price of one dollar she will gladly disembowel you with a spoon. Don't ask me why. Women are strange.

 

What makes a perfect Valentines Day gift?

The perfect Valentines Day gift should be something she can tell her friends about. This is part of the reason crotchless panties DO NOT MAKE A GOOD VALENTINES DAY PRESENT.

The gift should be conspicuous. People sell an awful lot of big and red heart shaped junk around February 14th just because it is big and red and looks vaguely like a human aeorta. If you bought her a helium balloon at any other time of the year she would think you were demented. But produce one on Valentine's day and the Mrs will go all soppy on you.

If she likes jewellery she is probably into conspicuous consumption and there are a whole set of rules about which metal, stone, carat and design are appropriate and which are not. The easy way out of this possible quagmire is to focus on brands. No woman on earth will be upset by a gift from Tiffanys unless they are clinically insanein which case you really shouldn't be buying her Valentine's Day gifts. A good rule of thumb is to stay away from stay away from cubic zirconia or any type of stone that they sell on the shopping channel.

Flowers are always good. Yes, florists bump up[ their prices around Valentines Day, but everyone knows this, and let me once again refer to rule one..Don't Be Cheap.